Writing a Description
Understand how noun groups can be expanded in a variety of ways to provide a fuller description of a person, place, thing or idea.
Read this first
Expand the noun group and the picture sharpens. You add words before and after the noun.
Words you need
- Noun group
- The noun plus the words that describe it.
- Expanded noun group
- A noun group with detail added before or after.
- Prepositional phrase
- A detail starting with with, in, on or under.
Worked example
e.g. Expand this: the dog
- Start with the bare noun group. The dog.
- Add detail before the noun first. Use adjectives.
- The thin grey dog.
- Now add detail after the noun. Use a phrase.
- The thin grey dog with the torn ear.
- Read it back. Can you picture it now? Yes.
- But stop there. Four adjectives would clog the sentence.
Add before, then after. Then stop.
Practice
Before the noun, then after. Then stop.
1Expand: the housewith a picture
AnswerThe old wooden house at the end of the lane.
2Which words go before the noun?with a picture
AnswerAdjectives.
3Expand: a boywith a hint
Need a hint?
Add adjectives, then a phrase.
AnswerA tall quiet boy in a red jacket.
4The big huge enormous massive tree. What is wrong?with a hint
Need a hint?
How many adjectives?
AnswerToo many. They all say the same thing. Pick one.
5Expand: the roadon your own
AnswerThe narrow dirt road behind the school.
6Why is one exact adjective better than three vague ones?on your own
AnswerIt gives a clearer picture in fewer words.
Think about it
1
Why does description slow a story down?
One good answerThe reader stops moving forward. Use it where you want them to pause.
2
Which describes better: a nice car or a rusted white van?
One good answerThe second. It gives the reader something to actually see.
Common mistakes
More adjectives means better description.
Usually the opposite. Two exact ones beat five vague ones.
Description only goes before the noun.
Phrases after the noun often do more work. with the torn ear is the whole picture.